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That’s a fun question, right? You’re upset so while you’re upset, think about why. That’s usually not high on the list of Things to Do.
It probably should be.
It sounds crazy, but knowing why something is bothersome I think is paramount to understanding it fully. I’ve found myself employing this tactic a lot over the last year.
Why am I angry? Why do I think this person will do that thing? Why do I hate mushrooms?
That last one I already know–they’re disgusting, flavorless, spongey, sprouting dirt turds… but hey, I didn’t always have such a wonderful answer. ?
Mark Manson covers this in The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck. He tells the story of Hiroo Onoda, a Japanese soldier that spent almost 30 years in the Philipenes, fighting a war that had ended. He led a pretty terrible life in the jungle but had a clear purpose for it. It was his mission. He was suffering for what he believed was a good cause.
When we think about why we’re feeling a way about something or why we’re choosing to live in a poor moment, it’s not necessarily a bad thing for it to be a less-than-ieal situation. The key is being alright with it. Onoda accepted the situation he was in so you, too, can accept that Christmas with your in-laws is garbage but you love your wife and she really enjoys spending time with your family. That’s actually two reasons!