Some say Americans get all the good stuff. I don’t know who those people are, but they’re probably crazy. The real winners are the non-American countries. Just about every other country in the world gets awesome flavors of Coca-Cola–without HFCS no less–and America is left with garbage. I suppose a few locations source the good stuff like Club Cool at Epcot.
They also get some pretty oddball choices.
Beyond the major brands everyone knows, there are lesser known ones. It’s those brands I’m focusing on in this series: The International Beverage Bonanza. The goal is simple: source allegedly tasty beverages from countries around the world without getting on a plane. Each one will get its own post, about 300-500 words, and a rating out of ten each for:
The last one comes with an asterisk as just saying “desire” is pretty subjective. In this case, we’re talking about how badly, as an American, do I want to see this on U.S. store shelves? Naturally, a ten is the best possible score in all categories and a score out of 30 sums it up.
I wanted to keep the rules simple because otherwise I’m bound to break them without even realizing it.
- No wine or spirits1.
- No beer2.
- I must drink the whole container before reviewing3.
- The beverage must be packaged ready to consume4.
That’s it. Everything else is fair game.
I’m excited to spend way too much money on stuff I might not like for the sake of the Internet’s amusement.
Get ready. This American is about to get Cultured.
- Lucozade Original (U.K.)
- Irn Bru (Scotland)
- Grapetiser (South Africa)
- Appletiser (South Africa)
- Vinto (coming soon)
- Ribena (coming soon)
- Lilt (coming soon)
1. My local Safeway could provide everything I need for years, otherwise [↩](#fnref-2884-1)2. An exception to this are beverages meant to be added to beer. I’m looking at you, Britain. [↩](#fnref-2884-2)3. Unless the container purchased is over 12 oz/355 mL [↩](#fnref-2884-3)4. This means no hot drink powders, hot teas, etc. [↩](#fnref-2884-4)